Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Breaking through


It was one of those days. The morning went well, but the afternoon tanked; I couldn't get a thing done. My whole being was desperate for distraction, and anything would do. Later on, I found out that my average word count per day last month was unusually low. I'm at the point where that sort of information is only fueling a temptation to give up, rather than work even longer hours than I already do. The problem is that my long working day is not as productive as it should be, because I am depressed about low word count yields for my files, and feel like the whole thing is pointless because I always seem to be merely digging myself out of word count deficits. Of course, it's a vicious cycle. I have to pull out of it somehow.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Weigh anchor and call again at Novus Latium!


WHHHHHHHHHHH

Just blowing the dust off this old blog!

I have a couple of freshly-read novels on my table that are begging for reviews.
Other than that, it's just a sense of guilt and obligation that prompts me to return to the blog-- not any improper guilt or obligation, simply my own conviction that I ought to exercise my writing skills on a regular basis lest they become soft and flabby like Jabba the Hutt.

Sometimes, you know, I've stopped myself from blogging on the grounds that whatever brilliance I may come up with would be the legal property of Blogger and as vulnerable to plagiarists as a glowing rodent in a dark forest full of owls.

So be it. I haven't a hope of publishing anything for monetary reward; firstly, the publishing establishment seems to frown upon well-executed, inspiring yet highly intellectual works of literature in this day and age, and secondly, I haven't written any. Yet. In the meantime, the least I can do is not bury my talent like the third servant in the parable.


Friday, March 9, 2012

not afraid

Most of us have a number of constant internal dialogues, broadcasting wants and needs from different parts of our bodies and souls. One of the things I like best about Lent is the re-cognizance of that fact and the opportunity to begin cleaning house completely: body, mind, heart, and soul. We are truly a bundle of desires crying out for satisfaction.

Incidentally, the Buddha's solution to this problem was to deny desire itself as evil, the cause of all the multitude of evils and suffering in the world. Christians believe that one's desires for good things are ultimately part of one's deepest desire for God; the righteousness or sin comes about in how we act on our desires.

I myself have quite a few worry dialogues going on at any given time. At the root of them, I think, is one big worry that I'll forget something important. But recently, I've come to realize I'm free of one particular burden: the fear of being single. It just doesn't bother me anymore. Praise the Lord.

Monday, February 27, 2012

trust


Here's one of my favorite sacred choral arrangements. May it help you start this first week of Lent in a spirit of peace and trust in God.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

come to the desert

Of an evening, I stirred from my work,
though really it was from a break that had lasted for hours,
and looked at the time. 11:57.
Sinking feeling inside. Another day gone.

I heard a soft knock, and a voice that I knew.
His voice. He asked, "won't you come to the desert?"
It's 11:57, I said. I must go to bed.
This rat race starts again in five hours.
I never get enough sleep. How about next week?
But he persisted. "Will you come with me?"

I opened the door and looked at him.
I asked, could you make all these chores disappear?
I would go with you, if you did. I just don't have time.
He simply looked back at me. I knew my words were foolish.
He said, "Order your tasks.
You will have the time you need."

"Won't you come to the desert with me?"
I said, you go every year. And every year I try
to go with you. Sometimes it feels good, I feel
like I've grown in my heart. This year, though,
as you see, I'm completely overwhelmed.

"It's time," he said. He opened his hand to me gently.
But, Lord, I said–looking back at my desk, or rather,
at the cave of papers and packets and trinkets and tools
where I struggle to pound out meaning, or rather,
where I find myself strangled by competing interests
and impossible schedules, caught between the fear
of failure and the hope of Time if only I can finish this one last thing.
Lord, I said, I don't know how I can add anything more.

But I reached for his hand, maybe out of habit.
"Daughter," he said. "Unburden yourself.
Come to the desert and forget these tangled complications
you have invented for yourself or accepted from a weary world.
Remember that before there was that mess behind you,
there was the desert. I am with you."

"Let us go together once more.
Your first steps are still imprinted in the sand.
But we will go beyond them now.
The desert is not easy. You will ask for a rest
many times every day.
But keep your hand in mine.
I will give you water, I will give you shade,
I will protect you from the predator,
I will keep watch for you at night.
Even if you grow weary, or forgetful,
and wander away, drawn by a voice on the wind,
I will find you, and we will go on again together.
Lean on my strength, and you'll become strong.
Now come, let us go into the desert
and make it a place of springs."

Friday, February 10, 2012

red flame breaks the spell of grey

Today, President Obama made a statement of "compromise" in response to outrage from the Catholic Church (and those similarly minded with regard to sexual ethics) over the HHS mandate for all employers to cover sterilization, contraception, and abortifacient drugs beginning in August of this year. While houses of worship are not required to comply, religiously affiliated schools, hospitals, charities, and other institutions are affected. This is a case of the government forcing private citizens (employers) to violate their consciences or to pay the penalty. When Catholics protested this matter some weeks ago, they were told by Kathleen Sebelius that they would be given an extension of sorts–one year to comply, or in other words, "a year to figure out how to violate our consciences." (Abp. Timothy Dolan) If you are a Catholic or read Catholic blogs, all of this is old news by now.

But why is today's "compromise" not a solution? Because, although it allows religiously affiliated institutions the privilege of not having to pay for the contraceptive services that are morally repugnant to them, it then puts the burden on insurance companies to provide them free of charge to women who ask for them. From one perspective, why not? some say. Contraception is far cheaper than the cost of labor and delivery, so the insurance companies should be happy to pony up. Yet on the other hand, there's no such thing as a free lunch or a free Pill. The insurance companies will obtain the money for this. And they will do it by raising the cost of premiums for other services.

In effect, all this talk of "compromise" (or worse, "conceding") is only a code for "accounting trick." The people behind this move know that it will be much harder to hold this accounting maneuver up as a clear example of government intrusion into religion and the free practice thereof by private citizens. They also know that it will be easier to convince Catholics of President Obama's essential benevolence, and induce them to vote for him again this year (would they have bothered if this were already his second term?).

A writer for the New York Times, Ross Douthat, has written about the media's "abortion blinders." He's right, of course. It's been this way as long as I can recall. Moreover, relevant Tweets in the past few days from mainstream news sources have been incredulous that anything still exists to question the contraceptive mentality that they claim "practically all American women have accepted." They cite 98% of Catholics as not adhering to their faith's tenets on contraception. They insinuate, of course, that if all those Catholics can get along with contraception, there should be no reason the confounded, stubborn old Church cannot get in line, too. Personally, I question their numbers. I believe a lot more than 2% of Catholics abide by the teaching of the Church in this matter. But that is not the point. 0% of Catholics might abide by it, but that would not make it a false teaching, only an unpopular one.

As a brief aside, I think that people who are gung-ho for contraceptive pills and potions ought to reconsider their enthusiasm based on one scientific reason. The chemicals. The chemicals and hormones contained in contraception do not simply disappear, poof, into a woman's body when absorbed (which is horrible enough, given the problems many women have trying to conceive after being on the Pill for many years). No, they do not disappear. Through the great biological processes, they enter our environment and particularly our water supply. Studies have shown there are high levels of estrogen (and chemicals from other drugs) in our water, which you can bet is affecting everything that needs water for life.

What it comes down to is responsibility and self-control. You can choose abstinence, with all its attendant hardships for you personally. Or, you can choose to pass the buck to a contraceptive drug, which will take those burdens away from you (mostly....), while, with Mephistophelian malice, it will wreak its chemical havoc further down the line–on your environment, your loved ones, your world.

For many years now, stylish, modern people have loved to dismiss large families, sneering, "aren't they selfish for taking up so many resources!" In all seriousness, I would say the same adjective applies to the women (and men) responsible for flushing chemicals from contraception into the water supply every day. It's selfish.

Meanwhile, this latest development in the mutual positioning of the Catholic Church and the U.S. government is ground for sobering thought.

Being raised Catholic, stories of martyrs are never far away. There are the earliest martyrs, like St. Agnes and St. Cecilia and St. Tarcisius. There are the martyrs of bloody regime changes like Queen Elizabeth's and the French Revolution.* Then there are the martyrs of African nations and Asian ones, including Japan, Korea, China, and Vietnam. More recently there were martyrs like St. Maximilian Kolbe in Auschwitz, and more recently still are the Christians who are killed for their faith today in lands that are dominated by a horrendous lack of regard for the dignity of human life.

*Of course, Catholics would be better served if their history books also recorded the martyrdom of non-Catholics at the hands of Catholics. The British have not forgotten Mary Tudor. The world has not forgotten the Inquisition, although it has been distorted like a Dan Brown novel in the popular imagination. Catholics have carried out many evils against their fellow human beings. But this is outrageous precisely because Catholics are not supposed to be evil, but are called to holiness. It does not invalidate the identity and call of the Church.

All of that is to give a background for the projection (I will not call it a prediction) I am going to make. Do you remember reading Aldous Huxley's Brave New World in high school? In the novel, the vast majority of humanity lives in the World State, giving their lives over to pleasure and conformity to the government and its social ethics. Yet there are certain reservations on which tiny bands of other people live primitive but (presumably) self-governed lives–we learn this when the book's first protagonist visits one as a tourist.

Well, I would not be surprised if something like that is in store for Catholics. There is an ever greater divide between what society at large is willing to normalize and what the Catholic Church regards as good. If the divide progresses much further, I do not see how the two can live under the same system, when the system seems hell-bent on beating the Church into conformity.

Brave New World was published in the 1930s. In 1985, Neil Postman offered a comparison of the book with another great dystopian novel, 1984. I think it's pretty obvious that the U.S., at least, is much closer to Huxley's vision than any of us would like to admit.

"What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egotism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny "failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions." In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us."


Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Presentation

From "The Presentation," a featured piece by Heather King in the February Magnificat:

""And you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed," Simeon told Mary. Whatever pierces our heart is a religious experience. Whatever pierces our heart we are invited to offer at the temple.

We bring all our joys and all our trials. We especially bring our contradictions, our compulsions, our wounds.

To present our experiences at the temple is to sacramentalize them. To present our experiences is to recognize that all experience, from the smallest to the largest, has a supernatural dimension. We offer our experiences on the altar of the fact that we are loved just as we are, and that everything that happens to us is an opportunity to draw closer to Christ. We present ourselves at the temple because our lives, our work, our sacrifices are not our own.

We bring our wounds and we also bring our strengths and talents. Otherwise we tend to forget that the purpose of our gifts is to glorify God. We start to think that our gifts make us special, or that we can use them to lord it over the rest.

When we do present ourselves, we find that the temple is not empty. Simeon is there, and the elderly prophetess Anna. People have been praying for us all our lives. We are part of a centuries-old tradition, and we are invited to participate in the ever-unfolding and perpetual resurrection.

We go in peace, knowing that we, too, are servants whose eyes have "seen your salvation.""

Friday, January 27, 2012

busy, busy, busy

I drank the last of my Miss Elizabeth tea from Bingley's Teas today. I will have to look into getting something new for my black tea category! It's exciting. The choices are boundless over there. Go check it out if you are in the market for some quality tea leaves!

Other quick notes...

-I like Ron Paul because he is consistent and he is serious about limiting government. He is the only one who stands apart from the other candidates and indeed politicians in general. Although his approach to Roe v. Wade is to have the states decide the issue for themselves, which some folks dislike, I think it is an eminently more practicable solution. Besides, for 40 years pro-lifers have been voting Republicans into office because they were "pro-life" or at least "sort of" pro-life or maybe just "not as" pro-abortion as the Democrat offering. None of those politicians have done any good. Rather than vote for someone who says he'll carry on the same old battle with the same old minimal results (ultimately), I'd like to go with Ron Paul on this.

-Additionally with regards to Ron Paul, his foreign policy is right on the money. Why are we in Germany, South Korea, Japan, and these other countries? Global security? But who made the U.S. the world's police force? We need to stop singing about putting 'a boot in yer ass cuz it's the American way' and get our own house in order.

-People need to stop slinging labels on people of differing political persuasions and start engaging the ideas that they find offensive. What do you think? Based on my observations in social media, it seems that Democrats have decided to simply label all Republicans as certifiable lunatics, which is escalating this dangerous problem. If we can't engage each other's opinions and ideas charitably, then our country will degenerate into a land of petty squabblers-- if not blatant discrimination, violence, intimidation, etc. While such human rights violations are perpetrated in other countries on the basis of race or religion, here they may be perpetrated on the basis of political affiliation. So we need to turn around and get off this road ASAP.

Yours in haste.