|Pupper photo here because I miss Lily, too.|
These past 11 days have been a jolt, an education, and a catalyst for me. How many things we do for ourselves every day when we have the free use of our bodies! It is likewise astonishing how all these little things add up their time throughout the day. I would not have believed it was possible for me to work essentially two full-time jobs at once. In all honesty, it is not sustainable. Nevertheless, being able to do it for the short term leads me to reassess the way I've been organizing my time at home.
Thanksgiving will soon be here. On many past celebrations of the day, I have probably mentioned being thankful for my family. I am now learning a new depth of gratitude for the strong and loving people in my family, whom I took for granted for so many years, like air or daylight. While in various ways the world seems to grow dark and cold, the trust and faithfulness of familial love still feed the flames of hope. With the mission at hand, I am thankful each day for the work my aunt and sister did to rebuild this battered nest and give its bird a chance to heal his wings. Thankful that he is indeed healing and growing stronger, that he is still with us. Thank God for giving us enough grace to bear the trials.
I miss something very much. I am rediscovering the feel of writing and the pull of its potential. The cello is becoming a friend, a door to a landscape of happy toil: part exploring and mapping, and part building. Soft encouragement still radiates out of a loaf of homemade bread. There are goals I want to pursue again. And behind it all, with the companionship of a dusky shadow, is the Something I find myself missing. I am not, and I am, content.